Girl Push-ups

"That is a girl push-up, coach!”

It was my fourth day as a first-grade teacher, and I have just challenged the class to a plank challenge. One of my more athletically experienced students struggled to hold his hips up, so I suggested he put his knees down as a modification.

“No, that is not a girl push-up. It is called a modified push-up,” I said.

“That is not what my coach told me.”

“I understand, but can you do a regular pushup?”

“Yes, watch!”

I watch my student drop his body on the floor, then push the top of his body up—while his hips were still on the ground—then struggle to shoot his hips off the ground. Out of breath, he explains, “See?! I did it!”

Meanwhile, next to him is a girl on her 9th rep of a standard push-up. 

He learned the name of the modified push-up from his coach, who perhaps tried to motivate the young boy by embarrassing him and insinuating girls are weak and need help. However, young kids are not mini-adults, and these young kids learn to name things how we name them. 

I don’t know who this coach is that calls modified push-ups “girl push-ups,” but the truth is…I knew exactly what he meant. I knew because that is what I was taught 30+ years ago by my coaches.

You run like a girl. You hit like a girl. Don’t cry like a girl. 

My coaches taught me the same things, men I admired and learned from. 

The message was clear to me then as it was for my student now: “Standard push-ups are for boys, and any modification must mean you are weak and therefore like a girl.” Even typing out that last sentence makes me uncomfortable. As an adult, I know how damaging that message is. As a child, I had no clue. 

Why does it matter if we call modified push-ups 'girl push-ups'? Because our voices as a coach leave a strong impact on the beliefs of our athletes. In the story that happened to me back then, there was a boy who couldn’t do a regular push-up next to a girl who could, yet the message to the young boy was that he wasn’t allowed to do the modified version because it was for girls. I don’t believe that, but he did. The next day, we did a push-up challenge, and the young boy came up to me and said he told his coach they were called modified push-ups. His coach told him that was just another name for girl push-ups. So here we have a 7-year-old being taught at a young age that girls are weak and boys can’t show any weakness, even if they can’t do what they are asked to do. 

Your words matter. Your influence is strong. What you tell your athletes will echo in their minds for the rest of their lives. Chose your words carefully.