the present of presence

Last week, I sat across from someone special to share a meal. As we looked through the menu, she took her iWatch off and put it in her purse.

I asked, "Why did you take your watch off?"

"I don't want to be distracted from being right here," she said.

Is there a better present than your presence? In the busy world we all live in, a simple gesture like taking off your watch, removing your headphones, putting away your phone, and turning off the television can go a long way in terms of the person sitting across from you. At that moment in the restaurant, I felt seen.

In the movie Avatar (2009), the Na'vi species of Pandora express their affection for each other not by saying, "I love you," but by saying, "I see you." Children thrive on being noticed. "Do you see me?" and "Watch me do this" is child-speak for, "I want to show you I'm worthy of your affection."

When we give that attention, it is received like a present, but not just to children...adults want to be seen, heard, and feel worthy of your presence. Next time you are with your adult friends, rid yourself of any distractions and give your presence to them.

How can you be more present for a child?

Put down your phone. 

Turn off the television. 

Go for a walk together. 

Ask them to explain their favorite toy.

Watch them play. 

Look them in the eyes and delight in them.  

Kids don't need more presents; they need more presence.