rules without relationship breeds rebellion
This quote by Andy Stanley brings to mind an important question:
How many rules do you give your athletes?
Many coaches give their athletes a list of rules without establishing rapport. How many do you think they could list? Can YOU list them all?
Giving thought to your relationship with each young person who calls you Coach will go a long way in their desire to follow whatever guidance you give them.
Consider waiting a week or two when you first meet with your team to learn about them and laugh with them. Once they know you care, you will earn their respect, and it is then you should share your list of rules (and expectations) with them. Without a relationship, they will only see you as putting boundaries around them, and that will always lead to rebellion.
Here is an example of what it looks like when I hand out the list of rules.
I have three rules for my teams:
Help your teammates be successful.
Take responsibility for your actions.
Protect the team.
Then, after they have looked over the rules, I open it up for discussion.
Rules are nothing without a firm understanding of what they mean and the consequences of breaking them. Some athletes are returning, others are brand new, but all will have a say in what these rules mean for the season. We go through each one, and I share stories from previous seasons so they can understand what each rule means.
Help Your Teammates Be Successful
Share Knowledge and skills: If one of my athletes goes to a camp or some extra training, I ask them to teach the team what they learned.
Take pride in daily effort: On this team, we don't have back-ups. We have individuals that have each other's backs. We cannot win without excellent and challenging practices, and not everyone will play under the lights in front of fans. But everyone will make practice difficult for teammates by giving maximum effort on a daily basis. When one teammate improves, we all improve.
Take Responsibility for Your Actions.
Personal call for tardiness or absence. If you are late or miss practice, you will call me. Not your mom or dad, not your guardian, you. If you have lost your voice, whisper. You need to be able to talk to an adult about your circumstance. I need you to call me, not anyone else.
The Student comes before the Athlete. On this team, we raise the standard for what is possible. You will complete all your assignments and create room in your schedule to study. Bad grades will disqualify you from participating on this team, and I want every single one of you to finish this season strong, athletically, and academically.
Protect the Team.
Listen to your conscience. The title "athlete" comes with a little bit of popularity and influence. I know you will be invited to parties, and I was a high school student, so I know what goes on at those parties. You live in a free country, so do what you want. Though you have freedom of choice, you do not have freedom of consequence. I take pride in this program and this team. Please protect its good name from bad decisions. If you have to ask yourself if it is a good idea, it probably isn't.
Serve the youth. You will graduate soon, and someone else will wear your jersey. Please leave it in a better place than when you go it and search out the young ones that look up to you. Learn their names, teach them skills, and encourage them to work hard. They are the future of this team, and you will one day be its legacy.
