Three Ways to Gain Credibility with Your Athletes

Kids are influenced by who you are, what you’ve done, and—most importantly—how curious you are about them. If you want your athletes to truly listen and buy into what you’re teaching, you have to establish credibility in one of three ways.

First, they’ll listen because you’ve played their sport at a high level. They’ll respect your experience and expertise because you’ve been in their shoes or where they see themselves one day.

Second, they’ll listen because you’ve built a reputation for being a great coach—someone who knows the game, consistently develops players, and earns respect on and off the field.

But the third reason is the most powerful and available to every coach: They’ll listen when they know you’re genuinely interested in them as a person.

I learned this lesson in an unexpected place—a restaurant. I noticed a man on what was clearly a first date. He was dressed sharp, confident, and full of stories, but something was obviously off. His date was polite but barely said a word. Later, we ended up in the restroom at the same time, and I couldn’t help myself. “Hey, man,” I asked, “how do you think the date is going?”

He shrugged, clearly frustrated. “Not great,” he admitted. “She just won’t talk.”

I paused, then asked him, “Have you asked her any questions?”

The realization hit him like a brick. His face fell, and he shook his head. He hadn’t asked her a single question the entire night. He had spent the entire date talking about himself, assuming her silence was disinterest, when in reality, she never got the chance to speak.

I told him, “She said yes to this date because you’re interesting. She’ll say yes to a second date if you show her you’re interested in her.”

It’s the same with coaching. Being interesting might grab their attention for a moment, but being interested will earn their trust and loyalty.

Show curiosity. Ask questions. Learn what makes your athletes tick—their goals, struggles, and passions beyond the sport. When kids feel seen and valued as individuals, not just players, they’ll open up. They’ll work harder. They’ll listen to you, not because they have to, but because they want to.

It doesn’t matter if you’ve never played at the highest level or your trophy case isn’t packed with coaching awards. What matters most is how invested you are in your athletes as people. That’s what builds trust. And trust is the foundation of every great team.