The Choices That Make Us
"There is a choice you have to make,
In everything you do.
So keep in mind that in the end,
the choice you make, makes you."
I Just Want to Be Seen
When I messed up, and my pity party was over, I would look up in the stands and make eye contact with my dad. He would smile, give me a thumbs up, and that is all I needed from him.
That is all the kids need--your presence. The rest is just noise.
Success is in the Details
Coach, challenge your athletes to set the standard for the team. They will not adhere to seemingly arbitrary rules handed down on a piece of paper or written on a wall. You didn't when you were an athlete and neither will they. However, if you can get them to feel how the expectation will help them, you will see improved compliance.
The Double Defeat: Can you lose twice in one competition?
The beauty of athletics is the dance between opponents, each responding and reacting to the other as they pour out their mental and physical strength in an attempt to become the victor until the next battle.
Belief and Sharing a Vision
Coach, your team needs to know you believe in them. I’m not talking about blind faith, but real belief in their abilities to compete and be successful because you have created an environment of competition, growth mindset, and constant improvement. Set them up for success, then get out of the way!
Starve the Anxiety: A Technique on How to Reduce Performance Anxiety
This is a breathing technique you can use not just in sport, but in life, as in preparing for a test, walking into a big presentation, or calming yourself before engaging in an uncomfortable conversation.
The Art of Yelling in Youth Sports
Kids are not mini adults and for that reason we cannot assume they have the emotional experience or maturity to understand what is going on during intense moments.
Meeting Your New Team
Too many coaches think the most important thing in a meeting is to tell the players what they need to know. Yes, there is a time for that, but not enough coaches give space for their players to share. There is wisdom to be learned from a coach, and just as much from an athlete. Remember, as coaches we’re in the business of training the adults of tomorrow, adults who will be reminiscent of the things they learned from their coach (good and bad) above the stats and win/loss column.
The Art of the Handshake
With the start of a new season or class, regardless of the sport or subject, I start with the same lesson. This is an example of how I do it. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed living it.
When Talent and Character Intersect - Jalen Hurts
This is an original post by my friend Jake Thompson at CompeteEveryDay.com and reprinted with his permission.
Abusive Coaching
Our voice as “Coach” stays with our athletes long after they hand in their jersey for the last time. Our words echo inside their brains, the good and the bad. For example, I remember when my high school volleyball coach spent over an hour with me after practice preparing me for a job interview and sharing tips on how to dress and what to say. I also remember when my eighth-grade baseball coach yelled at me from the dugout to “just throw fu$&%ing strikes” when I struggled to get the ball over the plate.
Family, First
As adults, we have a responsibility to allow our children to be children. Why do so many parents feel the need to fill every weekend with tournaments and training at the cost of letting a child be a child? What about family time? What about letting kids hang out with their friends? These are a problem that is only being exacerbated by many people in youth sports, specifically the club coaches who promise that taking a weekend off, much less a few weeks, would be severely detrimental to the development of that player. That is just wrong thinking.
Winning and Losing
“Sometimes when you win, you actually lose, and sometimes when you lose, you really win, and sometimes when you win or lose, you actually tie, and sometimes when you tie, you actually win or lose. Winning or losing is all one organic mechanism, from which one extracts what one needs.” -Gloria Clemente, White Men Can’t Jump
A Father's Love
My dad passed away on Monday. He was a good man. He was a father to more than his sons and a friend to more than a few. This is one of my favorite moments as his oldest son.
Cheering for the Other Team
The whistle around your neck is not just to get the attention of the team; it is permission to be one of the most critical parts of a child's emotional, social, and physical development. Take pride in your position, and give your athletes more than just a playbook, give them an experience.
Setting Expectations with Parents
At the beginning of every season, I sit down with the parents and let them know what they can expect from me as the coach of their child. I go through a list of bullet points I have curated throughout the years, so there are no surprises
To start the new school year, I wrote down for you a sample of how my parent meetings go. It is directed at a youth football team. Enjoy!
Activity: You, Me, We
Focusing on self, others, and the team is going to happen whether you do this exercise or not. However, I find that doing this helps you as the coach guide the thought process of your athletes, leading them to focus on positives instead of negatives.
The Importance of Knowing What Your Athletes Need
Sometimes to perform at our best, all we need is a pause.
Once a Coach, Always a Coach
We continued to talk for a few more minutes. It is always great to catch up with former players and see what lessons they took from our time together. This conversation reminded me, however, that a coach’s influence doesn’t end when the season is over, but that for the rest of that player’s life, I will always be “Coach.”
Athlete Motivation
Be the kind of coach that is a student of students. Learn about each player and be intentional about growing each relationship appropriately. You are one of the most important models of how to be an adult, so model the behavior you want to see in the world.